Come and Listen : The End, Means a New Beginning

Today was it. It would be the last time that Tyler and I would be on Carson-Newman's campus together, both as students. He graduated yesterday, and is off to big things. Of course, on our last day we didn't sit around and go back to "memory lane," (as my mom and I would joke), but we moved him out of his apartment. BUT, the thing that has caught my attention most about today, is the peace I feel about him leaving. He asked me when he pulled away, if I was going to be okay, and I smiled and told him I was "kinda excited about it." And to my surprise he said, "me too." As I stood there, I was taken back to last fall when I was taking my first nursing class, and ended up missing the test average by .5 of a point. I was devistated! I remember not being able to breath for all the crying, my life was over. And to top it off I had to stay an extra year at CN. I remember thinking about how terrible that year would be with Tyler gone, and me still in college. BUT, in that moment today, I felt PEACE?!? I was in shock! IT didn't all come crashing down (as I had imagined it would). I was excited?

Well I have to say that these feelings are not from me. Most who know me, would claim that I am a very dramatic person. But, today there was no dramatic ending. Why was this? Because God made himself known in that moment, his peace overwhelmed my dramatic personality.

"For God is not a God of disorder but of peace." 1 Corinthians 14:33

Tyler has had a stressfull two weeks (as we all have with finals), but he has been worried about the future (where to move, what to do, where to work, who to become, etc.) And the peace began here. Through all of the many conversations with him about these questions, God made it very known to me that no matter what HE IS IN CONTROL.
Suddenly Jeremiah 29:11 had followed me from my Freshmen year at CN, and was coming to play. And, I could truly say that what God has for my life and for Tyler's life is going to good. There is no room for fear anymore because the unknown future is known- and it is good.

As we were riding in the car last night I told Tyler that I was interested to see in 10 years from now what our perspective would be on this last week and all the questions we asked. I laughed as I said it because, I know that SOMETHING will happen in the next 10 years. Tyler will get a job somewhere, he will have a place to live. Although right now we don't feel like it will ever happen. It will be interesting to see how God works, where he takes us, and what he orchestrats in 10 years from now.

But, for now, it is important to follow where God wants to lead. Because he will direct our paths. I have been really loving the following verse, because it described to me the peaceful thoughts that God had given me this week.

James 3:16-18
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

By taking this verse and applying it directly to my thoughts this week I realized that God had granted me peace and that peace lead me to the wisdom of what he had planned for life. The plans he has are pure, he will grant us peace through the plans, he considers all things in his plans for our life, His plans teach us to be more submissive to what he has in store, they are full of mercy and goodness, they are complete from start to finish with no detail left out, and they are sincere.

I will conclude with one of my favorite analogies of God's plans for us. We draw up this picture of what we want our life to be like. Complete with all the details we think we should have. We run to show our Father, and say, "Okay God here it is, this is what I want my life to look like." And God looks at us and smiles and rolls out the blue prints for our life. Suddenly, our picture looks like a child's drawing in comparison to what he has in store for us. God says, "Look here, my child. See where you had a door, I have a Grand Stair case, see where you have a window, I have a giant entrance."

God, thank you for planning out my life, even when I am not sure what it looks like. Thank you for Tyler, and the years we have spent together. Lead us to what YOU have in store so that we may not miss out on the wonderful things you have set before us.

Here's a quick recap of the past four years-